holidays without one

well it is a week now since we buried one of us and it still feels kind of numb. maybe it will always feel that way. you have to go on but the blank spot shows up everywhere. preparations for thanksgiving are being made and I simply have no desire to be involved in any of it. Not totally because we lost kaye but so much is so backwards in our family. my dad and his brothers all did their rounds with alcohol and I guess we expected it to be different for us. 4 of our children are plagued by the disease. although each of them have IQ's much greater than most, they can not get the addictive part lassoed. I thank God my girls didn't get into the drinking or drugs heavily. My daughters 3 wouldn't even think about it at this point and amanda's 6, well they are still pretty young so I am praying that doesn't play a big roll in their lives. Joe has gotten into football and loves it and that gives him a reason to be very careful about any cuttin up with either. Right now the finances are the worst they have been since I have been with mom and I am looking for a job I can physically do and keep up here. I took the responsibility with no resentment or expectations from anyone. the boys are going to have to put up some funds for the running of the house. jacob is still working and in school and jamie is working at home depot. jamie is still not comfortable driving a vehicle and I told him, it is not a requirement, just a convenience. but helping him find work and apt and all where he can be independant in this world is a difficult task for him. their mother is not doing well. She now has a feeding tube and hospus around the clock so it may not be long til we have another leave us. of course we know no one has the promise of tomorrow and God knows what will happen next. The toll on mother loosing a child has really been something we all didn't expect. she's not perfect by any means(like all of us) but she has prayed deligently for her kids. I have to tell her that we had kaye much longer than most in her condition but that doesn't give her much peace. she does find some in knowing that kaye had suffered so much the last few years and will no longer have to fight for each step, each word, each smile, each decision. I put the wheel in front for a while and it will be gone soon. we have to go on. prayers for all Mercy for all  love to all

sister

what does that mean. it means even if they don't like you, they love you. they will be the first to tell you, you are wrong, praise you if you're wonderful and stand up and throw down if anybody hurts you. we have lost one sister to heaven. I have so many mixed emotions right now I can't even begin to understand them myself. I think I hurt sue more than I realized with a wrong choice of words trying to understand her better and I know she's kind a lost her best friend. she and kaye were quite different than the rest of us. they had to go through things and help mom grow up and help raise the rest of us. I kind a got tim when he was born but they were in a different zone. when your parents start out it takes a while to know what to do and as you grow into a family, you learn so many things. so they got the first hard knocks and the rest of us got it a little better because they were there. I appreciate the difference in their dreams and goals. mine has been mostly nursing everyone I could physically and emotionally care for. we had to go through the hardest time for our family in all our lives. we had to give up one of us.we have lost a lot of loved ones but this was so much more painful. she was only 63 and fought with more than many would be able, to hang on and stay with us, but she just got too tired of the fight. she told mom not to worry, that she was ready to go and was so tired. she fought a hard battle and with pete's devotion and determenation and prayers, she was with us longer than most in her condition.with the sorrow I have had wonderful things also. I looked at my little AJ as a man today. he and his wife joined the church. tiffani,his wife, was baptized and they dedicated their precious little new baby to God. laurie and her family came to the funeral home and they all looked so nice and loving as usual and I was so proud of them. I actually got to talk to my daughter,amanda, about the situations that purely broke my heart and do feel some better about her and my relationship. my grandson joey got offense lineman of the year at his school and is part of the team winning the regional and going to semistate now and he is so proud to be part of it and doing more than great. so with all the hurt also comes joy.  little scarey, makes me wonder if something else is gonna happen, but I will try not to think with paranoid and worrisome thoughts. now if my brother jimmy could come around . I worry about him so much. he's dug himself into a hole we can't drag him out of and is not coming to many of the family. he did not come to the funeral home nor will he make the funeral probably. it has been a hard year and I think he will feel more guilt than anything else when he wakes up. I pray god will have mercy on all of us. I don't know what will bring him back.well I gotta get some rest. very hard day tomorow. we have to say our final goodbye and leave her alone.prayers for all and god bless

oh the pain

I am so confused right now. About life, family, God, love.  My sister is gone and everybody is stressed and at odds, spitting out venom, that is totally, what has either been discussed at the round table or thought to be and definitly not what is. I have to say, I too have some guilt there. It's easy to tell someone else what to do when you haven't walked in their shoes. I just think they could all ease up on mom. If she don't respond to their wants, they throw out some baloney to make her feel bad. Why is it necessary for her to take that long drive to ekron. yes it would be less stressful and yes it would give her a chance to see the place her child will lie in rest, but also make a hard week-end harder. It's cold, she's sad and undone, hurt. sue said we wouldn't get off our lazy asses and go over there to see kaye. not so. we did go when we got the ok from pete and mom was able. many times kaye said don't come or pete did when she felt up to going and offered to sit with her while pete worked in the yard etc. that was a no too. she 83. arthritis,heart problem,stroke, bad bad knee. IT IS HARD FOR HER TO GET UP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM MOST DAYS and when she cooks, she does so through me. I get the stuff out for her, I get the ingredients ready, I get the stuff from the garage she needs and I watch the flipping stove when she can't cause she has to sit down. do they not understand that. yes we smoke but you get tired of being told you stink in front of their social friends or that your feet are dirty or your bags look awful or you aren't dressed right. I got a whole the size of a quarter in my tongue already.pete didn't want a mom person to go with him, he wanted to try to make mom comfortable with kaye being in BFE when new albany has been her home most her life and all her family are here.they said nobody visits the graves. well I got news for them. YES they do. It is not for the dead, they are gone. but some of us feel a bit of comfort just to go be as near them as we can and just remember and cry a little and smile a little. we aren't idiots because we do. don't anybody realize that all people are not the same. I do commend him on trying to make her comfortable to ease his stress but her mind won't change and obviously we have no say so in it. mother would not mistreat pete knowingly, ever and would jump square on anyone that did, just like her own. he is our own and has been since he married kaye. he has been dad, uncle, fixer, teacher, best man, to proms, you name it he's been there, all the girls have helped with kaye and I thought my job was taking care of mom so they could. apparently I was wrong again.I was denied even seing her in the er after i did cpr to save her and the reason was that I would spaz and tell everybody what to do. so I guess that's how my family sees me. not that I kept a bad thing from happening because of my experience and when I don't know, I research til I do and keep my mouth shut or ask relevant questions. they call the ole spaz when things get gritty though. oh well such is life. we all have those days when you wish you could crawl in a hole and just cover it up. first sibling gone. we are ALL out of sorts. god help us all

seven to six

It feels so strange to know that kaye is no longer a living breathing soul. She, had suffered such great horrors with her illnesses. I have felt anger, love, sorrow, hurt, insecure, and many other things during her last years. I didn't know if I had done the right thing when I yanked her into the floor and did CPR the first time. In my mind, time was still and she was not breathing so I decided in what seemed like an hour to do something. My mind was hearing what she'd said to me once before, "don't let me be like daddy, I don't want to not be able to take care of myself" but this time, I could not do nothing. they finally got there and started O2 and IV's and got her to the hospital on time to save her. 
she had Openheart surgery and was ok.  then the fall, bump on the head and now back to the hospital with more surgery for the brain injury she got with the fall. she'd told me before that she didn't think she'd live to see her grandchildren and see david happy.  so she did get to see those things. I can't say if David was happy, but he did try to help his mother and knew she was his best friend. it will be so hard on him. I love pete with all my heart but have been so angry at him over some things that I can hardly talk to him sometimes and through all of it, I respect and admire him for being so devoted and caring to kaye. His worst fault through it all was not allowing people who could help with some of the decisions to help. I am quite sure this is what my sister preferred as well.
she didn't much like him out of her site. He will be lost for a while. every family member I have cared for had a bittersweet end. I was lost, but unburdened, missed them so, but had to go on. left with a sad heart and nothing to do(so to speak) I guess I haven't been too close to any of my siblings since we all got older. I don't see or feel anything like they do. I guess the closest like me would be timmy. Jimmy and I are alot alike although he wouldn't admit it. but for one to be gone reminds me of the song will the circle be unbroken. I feel broken. 1/7 of the whole is missing. I hope she finds daddy quickly and all the loved ones we've lost. I feel I wasn't allowed to make things even a bit easier for her with my experience and that is what I could do best for my family and have learned through her illness that it may not have been what anyone wanted.  I wanted to protect them from idiots who paid no attention and I could get things done quicker and easier if I'd worked there and I had worked a lot of places. I couldn't be there too much because I wanted to be here for my mom and getting older and not being able to do more for kaye cut me to the bone. but thats what I do. when pete and tiff came over it sounded more like a business than the death and arrangements for my sister. no one was allowed to give any opinion or thought of what was to be and that was strange because everything was, even through disagreements, done as a whole. Tiff gets aggressive and says things sometimes that are very hurtful. may be how she handles stress. she hasn't had the benefit of a well mom and grandma so I suppose that takes a toll on you too. she is a good person but much like her folks. I love her and wish I could be there more for her and her kids too. you can't say how you feel cause mom won't allow even a loud voice let alone an arguement so all is kept quiet and pushed aside and covered up. so all of us try to keep the peace. I don't know why they are moving her body from the funeral home to the church. I don't know why she has to be burried way away from where her home has been. charge it. if pete is that bad off we would all chip in if need be. we certainly have before. I don't know why it has to be so stipulated instead of feeling like a warm celebration of her life. I know someone has to carry the ball and what I think or feel is not important but I would have liked to have been able to at least voice my feelings or opinion even if none of it was used or listened to.
she was this family and our sister too. it ain't like for the last few years everyone hasn't been involved in some way. but I think a little family meeting for those who wished to attend would have been in order to at least let us have some feeling of helping and quite possibly having a suggestion that would be relavant. I can't even write all I feel right now, I am so sad and I already miss my sister being there. I see my mother just fading and I didn't think she would have to lose a child. she's not perfect by any means but I have heard her pray each night and morning for god to protect and be with her kids. although I don't want to loose her I have prayed for god to let her gently go home before she had to loose a child. I didn't want her to have to experience that cause her kids have been her life. I know she will survive and I know god is the only one who knows the plan. I pray for god to let me be strong and sane until she no longer needs me. I look at my little new grt grandchild and think about this world and feel sad again. my children have had to struggle so hard for anything. a lot because I had to be the nurse when my family needed me. I saw too much to allow them to go to hospitals or surgerys etc without someone with some knowledge of what to watch for. I knew just enough to scare me to death and fear for my family but you can't explain that. I can't research fast enough to keep them safe. How do you instill that just cause the doctor or nurse says it don't make it so or good for a particular person, or if you do this or that it is easier on the person or not allow unnecessary tx's and rx's, and it happens all the time. like the sleep apnea test for mom the second night in the hospital when she had come in with an exascerbation of COPD and couldn't even breath hardly at all. how in the hell could it possibly be accurate. why put someone with horrible arthritis on bedrest. lack of exercise hurts both arthur and copd cause if you don't move about, you get pneumonia on top of the problem. Roy was continent of bowel and bladder. I left for an hour to go home and get cleaned up and come back to him in a diaper and couldn't even understand how to get help cause he was too weak. he'd called and got no help and tried to navigate an 8 legged IV pole into a 2 foot bathroom door and had an accident so incontinent was added to his dx and a diaper put on. YES, I went in and raised nine kinds of hell. that's what causes most elderly to become incontinent and get bedsores. how do I help them understand me. things are not important. I can not help how I am but I guess I have been a sourse of irritation for my family. I am very serious about most things and can be very funny and they don't see that often anymore. I stay away because I do not wish to be told how imperfect I am anymore. I am fine with myself. I feel very lonely sometimes and I am beginning to know my grandson charlie and he is alot like me and that may be why I couldn't seem to be close to him. he can't be still, is concerned about all things, and involved in too many to be great at them but is pretty good at whatever he tries. hes had broken bones and injurys over and over as I did and still do and just get up and go on. I realized we were alot alike. well I guess I have expounded enough to relieve some of my gut, so I will say my prayers, ask god to forgive me for being so hateful but feeling better. I do love my family so much. I know they love me but I also feel they don't like me much but it is what it is. we go on the six with the sweet memorys of the one gone.

smoke smoke smoke that cigarette

I guess I am a little slow sometimes. it dawned on me that some months or maybe a year or so ago, when she got so mad at me for sending chris out to hang with her, she wanted privacy. I do know, that soon after she came out of the hospital, she tried to smoke and we had a large confrontation about it. I basically told her, she was not in physical or mental shape to make that decision. she did stop and 6 months or so ago, I realized she was hiding cig and lighters and trying to smoke again. so I didn't tell her I knew cause I also knew she would smoke more if I knew. so I finally got tired of watching for safety sake and acting like I didn't know so I told her I knew and now she smokes too much and I can see a marked decline in her cognition and memory to the point of confusion and refusing to go to her lung doc who she loves. so I have told her this but she hasn't give them up. of course comes the guilt of smoking in my room and trying to keep it from her. she says it has nothing to do with it. I smoked only in my room and not in front of her or no one smoked in the house. I have an air filter and fan to keep as much out as I can and smoked outside alot. in the garage when she wasn't going out there a lot but stoped that too and did not smoke in her car or while she was in her car. so now I have to let her kill herself or take them and quit myself. neither is something I can do although my non-smoking siblings are not happy.the subtle complaints as to the semell so strong, I let her blame on me. oh well, watching her try to hide it breaks my heart. I don't do any different than I did so the smell will be less hard to deal with, but why? so tired of the hype,farce,advise, I guess I'm just tired. she is not real happy about me leaving so I think I will call my smoking friend and let her stay with her so I can go to corbin and get these gravelots sold and find some of the ones we've lost. and see chester before it's too late. really need to make some plans. or is any of it worth even stressing over. well lord help me. I will try to make reasonable goals.prayers for everyone

Angels About

I got a e-mail from Ken today with news of angel, Jameson and Jacob's  mother. she has had another stroke and is unable to talk or walk and hospice has come in 24/7 now and caring for her. Ken is lost I'm sure. He has been there every minute since she became ill enough, she couldn't take care of normal daily living tasks. It is so sad.  I know the boys think about it and have many feelings they don't share. jimmy has encouraged them to be tested but that is hard to do. Jameson got so many genetic devils from his parents. jacob and he are so different. It is hard to say if either of them are plagued with hunningtons disease but time will tell. they have made some progress with med to help but no cure yet. they can actually pick the sperm or egg that does not have the gene for it so there is hope of normal kids for them. there is also hope for a cure for them or at least med that can allow them to have a longer better life. my heart is heavy with stress over them, my brother, my mother, my girls, kaye and pete, finances, jobs, routines, bills, disagreements. so many things are so painful. emotionally and physically. sometimes it seems it is just not worth it all. mom had what I think was a panic attack. no need to explain. no matter what it is she always sees the worse possible senario. I guess that comes from growing up with a constant fight between her folks.If voices are raised, she becomes tense immediately. I would love to take her back to corbin and live in mama and papas house but her brothers and sisters made sure she didn't get it. she was spoiled little wandy and they all resented it.she was the only one of them who didn't have a paid for house and she was(and me)the one who took care of them every time they needed her. why are people so mean.  oh well enough whining for tonight I guess. just tired of everything right now.better say double prayers

Momma's Bucket Garden

there never is enogh you know, no matter what we bring
out come a stack of buckets, it happens every spring
we plant a little garden, no time to watch it grow
if momma sees a root or plant, to a bucket it will go

she loves the sight of nature, pretty flowers, the smells delight
Her little bucket garden is a quite familiar sight.
if it grows, she wants to tend it
if it cooks, its on the stove
if it cans,
we're cleaning mason jars,
corn on the cob in droves
as hard as it can get sometimes, we let her have her way
she gives her love with food, we know
but thats what makes her day

we've all enjoyed the fruits of love, enduring til this day
she can't undo her need to see,that all are loved this way
the recipes she leaves behind, will surely be well spent
but they'll be here for kids and friends to use for each event


this is a poem I wrote about mom and she wanted the other kids to see it. we've teased her about her bucket garden from time to time. she liked it. she has a hard time understanding our world. she was never about the world. due to necessity, I suppose, she was about god, her kids, our dad and her job and that kept her a very busy lady. she never failed to give a prayer for those who come by needing it. nor did she fail to feed the hungry where she could and show kindness to those less fortunate. she now sits and ponders over the things her kids do that she can't believe. she frets over the sick and the ones that may not exactly be on the straight and narrow.we have lots of talks about what we can and can not control and I answer lots of questions over and over and over. our elderly(not all of them but some)do not understand the things of our society today. what they really didn't see is that in giving their children everything they didn't have, they failed to give them what they had.this doesn't mean they are horrible, but they can not live like we did. it no longer works.well I will close this entry. it seems I'm rattling. love and prayers for all.

Timothy

Well it is to be Tim's birthday and he will be here thursday to celebrate at kim's.  Mom is to make a pound cake. Hers has to be the best I ever tasted and I will have to learn to make it today. She does the telling, I do the grunt work and that is ok. I also need to go to the house and finish the bathroom floor so the kids can get a shower in. We still need to put in some drywall too, but the boys will be there to help. We learned yesterday that kaye will have surgery to remove her toe next wed. I so hate for her to have to go through this. Things seem so awful all over the world. I know I only see a very small part of the world but it is getting creepy. I did learn that my grandson has picked a church to take his new baby and family to.  I got up about 3 times last night. we have had breakin attempts 2-3 times on our street and it is happening at different times. I think our house is locked down pretty good but if they want in they usually find a way. I worry they will use the basement windows.well back to the pound cake. requires the "big" mixer and a huge bowl and lots of eggs sugar and flour. We found a sugarless cake recipe. I don't know how many carbs and other bad for you stuff is still in it but I suppose you could eat a regular piece rather than a sliver. Kaye will be starting the hyperbaric chamber again. I told pete I would take her to that. she has had a hard time going cause she is so tired and won't (sometimes) go for him. I think if she knows I'm coming it might give her a little incentative to push through and go but I hope it works.I am not tied to the house quite as much as I was, as long as I am back from anywhere by dark and I get that. at 60, it scares me to be here without the boys downstairs.when they aren't here I put a barricade up at the door. frosty would lick someone to death. He is such an easy going animal.  I am trying to get an article written with pics alongside to send to the kentucky magazine. It has a lot of stories and fun stuff to read about old times.  Mom loves it. Well it sounds like she is up, so I will get in here and get the day started. love and prayers to all.

the move

well I don't know how it will be halfway living with my daughter. I am hurt at her right now and feel deserted. she left on a "free" vacation no sooner than we got them shoved into the house. I don't know all the reasons she was kicked out of the one she had but they do have a hard time keeping things clean and nice. the boys will do whatever I ask them and I hope they do well here. it is not in anyway ready for a family of that size but I have no choice in it right now. she had like an 800$ medicine bill and so much stress. I understand the vacation to some extint but it was an awful time for her to leave and she went to ocean city NJ right where the hurricanes are spinning and flooding and I know I am paranoid but I don't like tempting fate. we got the water heater hooked up but the electricity don't work so now another hurdle. I have spoke to the bank and have so much crap going on I can't keep it in my head. I think the time will be more temporary than they all would like but I can't live in a mess and they will soon get tired of me telling them what to do. she had no money and no way to go anywhere but she could have waited a few more weeks to do this. I think she wanted to get her stuff moved before her "vacation". her landlord came there and threatened the kids while she was at work and called and texted and her rent was one day late at the time. she needed to get out. now the lady in her drunkeness will have nothing good to say about them I'm sure. I am having a hard time just getting up and breathing right now. my ear is infected and I feel so down and done.mother tries to keep me from extra work and usually winds up making it worse. like today she knew I had an appointment with the doc and my ears are giving me fits. she started in the kitchen and before she was worn out, cooked fried chicken,chicken and noodles,veg soup,greenbeans,corn on the cob,a peach upsidedown cake. there were ten pots and bowls all over the kitchen and I tried to get some of it done before I left. Jamey has a job now with home depot.the boys don't watch as close as I'd like them to and if someone is in the house she goes to cooking and it is never enough. she just keeps adding something else but ai have started letting her clean up some of the mess and then I finish it.I don't think she does any of it on purpose but it is very hard to deal with daily living in this house anymore and like the soup. all I said was mom try to keep it a little smaller we don't need 2 gallons. but the pot was full to the top and we took some to kaye. the whole night she told me at least 25 times how good she liked the soup and how kaye loved the soup and ate 2 bowls.I don't know if she forgot she already told me or if she wanted to excuse herself to me for making it or prove to me it was a good thing but it drives me nuts. I don't mind her cooking so much as she thinks, but when she cooks all day for other people and I have a mess to clean up, and she don't even eat it. she was determined to make the corn on the cob before joey left cause "she wanted it" we wound up waiting til it was done to take him home.oh well you can't change her now and I wish she were happier but I do the best I can and she is a handful sometimes. oh well time to quit whining and thank the lord for the blessings and get on with my night. yeah can't sleep.I try to think of those more opressed when I feel down. there are so many without just needs being met. we are so fortunate in so many ways. god have mercy on us and keep us in your care.

food for the day

have you ever longed for that moment of silience, when no one called your name, the phone didn't ring, the dogs are quiet and no one needs anything for that moment. I have longed for that moment for a while. I have never been able to walk away with anyone in my family or extended family needing help. My heart would not allow me to pretend I could do nothing. although it is as much a curse as a quaility, I have always been able to understand speech of those who could not speak clearly, always sewed up that unfixable clothing that someone didn't want to toss, that broken whatnot or furniture, even cars. oh well jimmy asked mom to go to dinner with her and the boys for jakes b-day. just the four of them was the request. jake actually has a girlfriend and she went along too.  so the house is so quiet. it is (for a time)so nice to hear nothing. I would in no way change caring for my mother but I do get tired of not having a life. for the last year I have been cleaning up the Oak st house and redoing almost everything in it. I have gone in two to four hour segments and it has been the most taxing test of all my senses to continue. It is about done. my daughter moved into it although it is not done yet and I hope it is not another mistake. I feel like I am sending her to hell. it is old and delapadated and she will have lots to contend with. but her payment will be less than 300.00 a month so they may be able to deal with life a little better. she needs to learn to not spend on so much junk. but we can hope. I would like to take a week off and be unresponsible for anything, but I am sure that time will come all too soon. life is just really hard right now. God help us all and all our soldiers and the little hungry children. prayers and love to all.

food can't fix it

I am so overwhelmed with grief for my sister, it is hard to breathe. They wouldn't even look at me for giving her a kidney. I keep going back in my mind to the day she virtually died in her living room and wonder, did I do the right thing. she's had to suffer through so much. I wonder if it is a test for pete(and her)like job, to test faith and I have a hard time not seeing the miricle we have all prayed and prayed for. course the fall was the culprit I guess. she made it over the heart stop and cpr. I can't even explain the way I feel. I know she has been spared for a time because so many things could have and should have taken her life and she fought through all of it to get to this point, where she has to loose a leg, or basically die, short of a miricle, it is a matter of time. she is like a child, so afraid and then so agressive when upset. I would be an idiot I'm sure if I had to endure what she has. pete is so determined to do all of her care and not let her go . I get so angry with him sometimes. a small change could make things easier for her and him. being the caregiver and watching over those in the hospital and making sure things were done as correctly as my knowledge would allow, was the only thing I felt like I could give my family and he took that completely away from me with my sister. of course this was her wish too I assume but I don't know. she remains so protective of her son and I think is grieving over leaving her family. as we all know none of us have the promise of tomorrow, but to see so much pain in one of your loved ones is almost more than I can bare. Her greatest fear was to be unable like our father was and it has come on her worse than daddy had to deal with. he didn't suffer so much even though he was disabled. He had his problems but came out of things quickly and remained jolly although he had some mental setbacks with memory and emotion he was quite happy. he kind of died in her arms(kayes) and I started CPR and looked at mom to tell me if I should continue, since he'd slipped alot in the last year. she said no, don't do it anymore. that was the hardest thing I've never done. I believe it was his time and he begged me not to take him to the hospital. he did not want to go through anymore of that. well I need to pray for all of us and try to sleep. it's likely to be a long hard day tomorrow. she now says she'd rather die than loose her leg. I don't think she can deal with loosing anymore. lord please have mercy.

no dumplins today

we had a mixture of tomatoes,zuccini,garlic,onions over rice. mom cooks in her sleep all the time. she got up today and wanted to cook what she dreamed of. wilma had brought zuccini and teresa had brought some veggies and she fixed them all night. well it actually tasted good. not to die for but reasonably tasty over the rice. not much for a meat and potatoe person, but if you like veggies it was dewishous. I am very weary of what I call mini crisis. it seems there will never be a day with no worry. or aggrevation. I guess its all in how you deal with it and these days I don't seem to be able to deal with anything. I was so used to being able to physically stay ahead of everything and now seems I can't keep up with myself anymore. I am blessed to have my little new grt grandaughter born healthy. she was 9lb 7oz. 21 1/2 in long. She is a cutey. she looks like her momma a bit more than dad I think but they change so much in those first few months. I dreamed she was a red head. jim had a lot of red in his hair but hers right now seems brown with red tones. too soon to tell. they went home friday and AJ is really steppin up to the task. tiffani had stitches and the everpresent with childbirth(hemroids) Those first few days after a big baby like april are rough. AJ has the week off. we are still working on getting the house ready for laurie to move in. It is not very ready but we'll have to work on it a little at a time. I got my brothers things sorted and repacked and in the garage, up, hopefully where mice and bugs don't get in them. I will put my stuff back in storage for now. no time to sell, sort or prepare for yardsale. just want to be done with it. waterheater, furnace,backroom and floor jacks left to do and siding. I have had a hard time trying to sort jims stuff and keep the most precious or what was not ruined. but that part is done. I hope it will prove to be a good thing I did cause I have sure worked hard. jacob got home tonight. I am glad he is back safe.  Jamey has been gone more than here since jake left. so the garbage, dog and all weren't taken care of. if we asked him to do something while he was here to shower or eat he would do it and he did mow the lawn but he doesn't have a pinch of thought as to what he might do to help here. I think he just wants to be elsewhere. they are not "bad" kids just 19 and 22 and not very interested in anything that doesn't concern their day. not to unusual for the age. hard to keep the middle between them and mom. I tell them try to remember she is 4 generations from your world. well I am tired so I should get some rest. this will be a hard week and next week is job hunt. prayers to all and thank you lord for the blessings.

the boys

well the kid went out to take pics in the wild and returned at ten with 2 young ladys who(with permission from mom) went downstairs to view the pics they took. joey here and jamey came home too. 1st girl left at 11 and mom ask me to have them end the party at 1130. they were laughing and cutting up and being a bit noisey compared to usual.Jake asked me if she'd handle them going swimming for a while. I said no but I will just be quiet. so here I am at 300 in the AM sneaking them back in the house and trying to keep the dog from barking and mom being woke up. mission acomplished.it is hard to keep 3 generations happy. Thank GOD they are not horrible, disrespectful boys. they do try to follow the rules of the house which are oft times very stringent. no girls to spend the night, I agree with but sometimes they need a bit of space mom is not willing to give so I find myself mediating frequently. I guess we get by. I hope they know I try to ease it a little. she is so far away from them in age it is hard to make her see they are fairly well grown and able to have some fun without getting into trouble. you don't have to do anything wrong to get into trouble these days but we give all the precautions we can and pray the rest. safely tucked in tonight. prayers and love to all and I am gonna go to bed now.

dinnerbell done rang

Mom and kaye both very happy after the dinner. everyone ate well and she took a box home with her for david and later tonight, or tomorrow. actually it went very well. did I say that. pete looked awful tired. he is so protective of her but does things backwards sometimes and could make it so much easier with a few little tips. but you have to admire his tenacity. my spelling leaves a lot to be desired. now comes the clean up. got most in the dishwasher and food covered. time for a break.  so the menu was: grilled and broasted chicken, bisquits and gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn on the cob, dressing, cranberry sauce, cucumber salad and tossed salad, with coffee and cantelope for a dessert. she still has to be fed some of her food and uses a straw because her right side mouth is numb. I pray for her not to suffer any more but how do we know how much we can stand to stay with our loved ones. we went to her birthday do on thursday and it was nice but she was so tired. anna drost and kids were there. they have remained fairly close. well I will close this writing not knowing when or what will happen to our family next. we've had a hard year. I don't know where my brother is and what in the world is in his mind. it breaks my heart to think he feels I done him wrong. I have spent a year trying to preserve what of his things from the house that I can. How can he not know I had no choice. the house still needs a lot of work but it is almost livable again. laurie will be moving in it probably. I don't think she has a choice.   GOD have mercy on us all and prayers to our men fighting everywhere and thankful adam hasn't been deployed yet. good night

woe, woe, woe

Well here I am again with the need to write down something, anything. it keeps me from going nuts. nothing in my life would cause anyone to need phychiatric help but all the little details and minicrisis are driving me bonkers. My biggest request for mom is not to cook when no one is home. she has had too many little stove fires to trust that she can handle it alone anymore. although I explained that we all do it sometimes but she no longer has the ability to get it took care of quickly without danger. this , of course hurt her feelings or made her mad(either-I don't care to do). I had told her I wanted to work a lot on the house this week-end and spend some time with joey before he goes back to school. well Kaye decided it would be a good time to come for the chicken dinner they been trying to do for a few months. she has to do things when she is up to it so not to be angry about but definitly changed my weekend. I would never want anyone to say I was angry cause I wouldn't want to hurt anybody. so I rearrange my plans or actually just drop them. I finally did sell my silver wedding band for a 100.00 bill. took joey to get some school supplys and an outfit and the ticket was 99.22.filling out papers to decrease my mortgage with my daughter having to move and needing to move into it.and it is in no way ready. trying to teach jamey to drive and looking for a job so to say the least I have many things on my mind. but dinner is ready to serve. and I am glad we are blessed to still have kaye able to eat. I can hardly be with her without my heart breaking. The children starving in somolia. God, we have to wake up and try to help these children. prayers for all later

here we grow again.

Well I went a little out of the norm and sent our baby april an eviction notice. the kids enjoyed it and in all this hot weather and last month of pregnancy, they needed a little pick-up. I also found out that exactly 2 weeks late would bring her on my daughters b-day. that would be fun to have your first grand on your own b-day.September seems to be our familys month.we have many in sept. 3 on the 5th.  mom has been cooking a lot lately but enjoys it so much although we have a lot of clean-up and "go gets" and food to put away or deliver to kaye. I am so down in my spirit right now. when you realize you have to turn the reigns over to the next generation it is very hard. being responsible for so many things(of my own choosing).your mind and emotions knows what you need to do and how but your body no longer, is able to keep up. does that mean you should not take it on or you shouldn't worry about it. when you realize maybe you didn't teach your kids what you thought you did or in this world, does it really matter as long as they know GOD.  how different levels of financially able causes different levels of society and how they view things. In sorting my brothers things, I have a hard time deciding what would be the most important to him and since he chooses not to correspond with me right now and thinks I have hurt him, I just want to tell him, I know you don't see it the way others do, but I love you and maybe someday you will understand."I think he is the smartest, funniest, most caring, there for whomever and so lonely. I have your back. I've always had your back, even if you didn't like the way I did it.I love you.well I guess the name of this blog doesn't really portray the content. but food is not my god and I do tend to get too emotional. I have always cried a lot and it keeps me from going nuts. Most any "pilltype" help does me in. either knocks me out or makes me crazier than a bed bug. so I just as soon cry. back to the cooking. it is always good and it is very apparent that moms boys are of the top ten so to speak. half the food she cooks, she doesn't even like or eat herself. the boys are quite normal for their age. she and I are too old to live in their world and they are too young to live in ours. I thank God that they are not into meaness or horrible things which is so out there today. we can't tell them to do it like we did because the changes in our world  have made that impossible. but I am thankful for our blessing and when I think of so many less fortunate in the world, I am ashamed to fuss about anything. people often tell me to get a life. well caring for others is my life. I wish I had prepared some better for my future. but how do you turn off your heart. I have not mastered that task. so much I want to say and so unable to express it on paper, or physically able to get projects done or remember which one I was working on. I am in a scarey place in my life. another phase to go through I suppose. prays and love to all

kids

well I have two of my grands for a few weeks. bekah and ben. they are like the dynamic duo. what one don't hit ya with, the other one will. they are so smart and beautiful. rebekah has always been the mommy type for ben.  today we shopped at the goodwill. Ben found a remote-jeep and bekah found a full nintendo game with two remotes for 15.00. I found an album of nursery songs for one dollar. it was made in 1966 and is in very good shape. We had a fun day. Hot, but fun.  Mom is out now with the smoking and I got her an electronic cigarette to try for a few days. I am very tired and am having a hard time figuring out the next step in my life. I guess the correct way to say it would be trying to find my life. the kids and I went to the storage today and I gave them some stuff from it that I'd had for them anyway. I feel very empty. Most of what I have in my storage is kid oriented. oh there's the needs of a home there too but you can tell what ran my house. my grandchildren. I don't think Amanda will ever know how much of my life she yanked away. I have since learned that it may have been the best but not in this way. I am not physically able to keep up with them so much now. I am not at all organized to care for them here like when I had a home. I have given a lot of it to AJ for his home now that he is married. I found a butterfly pin I'd been looking for and so many things I hadn't seen for so long. It was like a little treasure hunt for all of us. ben mostly stayed in the car and examined the penny's to find the ones of value. we are looking for a 1969s. it is suppose to be worth 35,000.00. I would love to find one worth 5,000. right now. We dropped off some things to AJ, towels, a shower thingy and a few things for baby. then home for a nice meal cooked by mom and jacob. well the girls look so cute in their little pillowcase dresses. Kim and I made them the other day and she'd found vintage cases with the lace and embroidering and made huge hair bows for them and they were adorable. I made one for elsie although she didn't get to go to the beach. hers is bright yellow with a blue high-heel on it to match her gorgeous blue eyes. looks like their little ben is gonna be another blue-eyed dreamboat. I am still packing and sorting. It seems that is how I've spent a good deal of my life, besides nursing anyway. if I can learn how to do the dialysis with kaye, I could probably get a better job when I go back. that will be when jacob returns from his vacation, scheduled the last two weeks of august. . he'll be here at night so I can work night shift and come home, do the breakfast, go to bed and make a decent earning. well big day tomorrow. better get some shut-eye.  Our baby april should be here soon. we thought she was coming on the 16th but they sent us home empty-handed again. we just have to wait a little longer.   love and prayers for our country and my family.

habits,desires

I don't know how much longer I can pretend I don't know moms smoking again. do I get to feel guilty because I smoke in the bedroom. Do I tell her, so she can really start smoking, because she will if she thinks she isn't hiding it from me. I know she doesn't have a very fun life with all the problems she has but I know it won't take long for her to be back in the hospital if she goes full ahead with smoking. Do I have any right to halt it, tell her I know, let her have what she wants. I hate these decisions. she is still capable of having her own way. I think. at what point do we determine folks are no longer able to make decisions for themselves. well I guess I will play it by ear for a bit longer. I think it's been going on for at least 3 months, for sure this last month and she ain't trying to hide it as good. well we'll see. I know she comes to the door a lot more to see what I am doing.  I also know that all my siblings will preach at her and me. I can't make her do anything at this point and when she gets sick she looks to me to help fix it and try as I may, I can't fix this and the braver she gets, the more possiblity of fire etc. In a home she would get three or four a day if they allow smoking at all. oh well. so much for whining.

daddy

today is daddys birthday and I guess I am just missin him. I was hoping our little one would come. I am not sure she would be ok if she is born right now though. we don't have much longer to wait. miss rebekah has a B-day july 9th. She is quite the beauty. Aunt betts seems to be doing ok with her recovery from the neck surgery. I don't get to visit or talk as much to aunt lois. sue said she is better from her fall. I can't imagine loosing a partner of 75 years. I know it happens but it is so rare for people to stay together that long. I think you must really become one to be able to do that. 

precious fun day

Why I would think of that now is beyond me but thats what ricky always called amanda or said to her. I was thinking of our afternoon. Mother and I went to susy's and had a very simple quiet lunch. of course every meal she serves is elegant no matter how small, but it was so nice. fresh tomatoes off the vine which mother loved. corn on the cob and a bread that was very good. mom loves all the kids and grandkids and grt grand kids etc but she doesn't deal well with the big get togethers anymore. loves them but her nerves just can't handle it like before when she was running the big dinners.    since she had the stroke, her patience is taxed with the slightest change. We actually had time to talk and just enjoy eachothers company. I mended some dresses for a friend today and wednesday, kim came over and we made pillowcase dresses for the girls. they turned out really cute and she made the cutest bows for their hair. I'm told they all fit them and the girls love'em. they are all so precious. looks like I will have bekah and ben around the 10th. It will be good to have them around again for a little bit. another story. My brother took care of conner for a good while and conner enjoyed him a lot. jimmy, due to arthritis and other ailments sometimes gives a slight groan,grunt or some little sound when getting up from the floor or chair and they noticed that conner was doing it. it took a minute to figure out what was wrong and there was nothing wrong. he was just doing what uncle jimmy did. such innocents is priceless. which brings me to another story. when adam was a little one, I was watching him while his mom took racheal to dance class. he asked why she went there. I told him "well, dance teaches you poise and control" his reply " I know about that poisoncontrol, my mommy has it on the fridgerator" I laughed so hard. they don't always hear what we are saying. how different through a childs eyes. prayers for all and good 4th of july.

just tired of it

I saw the new labels for cigarettes and I am just so tired of it. they advertise alcohol, which kills so many. they say it is ok to scrape a baby from its mothers womb, its ok to morphine our extremely sick out of this world. why does anyone think they have a right to go to this length to stop smokers. I do not drink, go out to bars, shop,go out to eat , go to movies.  I enjoy bowling and I do smoke. I do understand the tragedy of the side effects. what about the prescription drugs that cause people to DIE from side effects. man it's time somebody backed up and take a good look at our countrys values, rules and hypocracy.

just some whinning

It's been a long few months. so much has happened. Uncle Berry passed, Ora passed. Kaye has had more medical dilemmas with her foot and her eyes. Aunt Bett has to have a surgery.  I surely miss the fun we used to have when we weren't so grown up and stressed over our own children having more and being better off than ourselves. all of us getting older and so much going on in the world that we now are able to know, which a few years back, didn't effect us so harshly. How wonderful all our technology is and how crazy it makes things for some. I have never been a mathmetician and I do not understand all this computer stuff. I learn a little here and there. I can not forget to add that even with all the mini-crisis going on in our large family and extended family, we are still very blessed.  you do have to live this life and it ain't all roses but GOD has been merciful on so many. Little gideon's mama, most recently. My daughters safe trips to and from Alabama. Lauries husband still with us.  Mother never gets up or goes to bed in all the years I can remember without saying a pray for her family. She does however have a hard time letting go of the worry.  She is six decades apart from her youngest.  Can you imagine trying to figure their world out at 82.  Aging is not pretty. I already dread it. If I ignore it, maybe it won't come so fast. I was just 30 yesterday,I'm sure. Where in the heck did these aches and pains come from.  Aspirin cures a lot of things.  AJ and Tiffani are still waiting for baby, thankfully. Her contractions have stopped for now. She is not able to work but is moving right along. I wonder if this little one will get mine and her dads hair. He is my only grandchild blessed with my thick curly mop. It is beautiful when he fixes it up a little. Since I got chained to B/P meds, mine seems to have lost a lot of its bounce. Not the frizzies though. well I will close for tonight. GOD be with all our servicemen and their familys. I guess these things must happen but it truly breaks my heart that so many are in so many places away from home.  prayers for all

new roofs

well I am trying to get everything cloth out of the garage at 516 so we can get the insulation removed. I guess I'll just cover the cabinets with plastic. that stuff gets in things so easy. signed contract for the house on oak street to be started on the new roof. suppose to be there monday. anyway the roof is leaking in the garage and I am afraid it may be in the other part but they will be looking.  The boys are helping with the move.  I brought all moms baskets in the living room. I hope some will be given to the other girls while they are desplayed.  I do understand her having a hard time getting rid of her things but we have so much stacked up that we truly don't use or need. I am getting my storage cleaned out and a lot of it has gone to AJ. with his new marriage and a baby on the way, they needed a few things and it definitly wasn't doing anyone any good so at least it will get used. we also found a microwave at a yardsale that actually fits where moms come out. teresa called and had seen it so I went and looked at it and bought it. I have looked everywhere for the same size and could not find one and had finally picked one a couple inches bigger and then she found this one so we will try it for a while and it is white. newer modal than the one she had and I think easier to use. I like the one on the cabinet cause I can reach it better but mom and the boys don't have a problem with the "tall" one. gotta go get my tools from the oak street house and hook up the tolie there. I got the washers in but it needs new seats. that won't be easy to find. they are so old but I love that sink. If I ever had to tear the house down or rebuild I would want to keep that wall in the kitchen. it just looks so old and quaint. I always loved that part of the kitchen. well gotta get busy.

cookin in the kitchen

No we're really cooking. we got 15 pints, two quarts and two 1/2 pints of cornrelish canned today and it is uuummm good. /got the kitchen cleaned up too. It is fun to watch mom in the kitchen. It is like she just can't get done cooking. she had a little fruit left from yesterday and had to make jam of it. she peeled the big leafs from the caggage to make stuffed cabbage. I said "do we have to make that today" and she agreed it could wait until tomorrow. she was very intent about me learning how to make the relish this time.  I found out a long time ago that cleaning the kitchen up all nice and tidy was like giving mom a canvas, like the artist she is at cooking. although she does not either get it or want to, that people just don't eat like they use to and dumplins and gravy/bisquits and all the trimmings are good but not good for any of us. back when you had to chase that chicken down, kill her, pluck, and the rest, you spent a lot more calories just prepearing your food. Exercise was only a thing for the elite. now it is what everyone has to do to burn the calories we used to burn just doing daily living activities, like get up and turn the station or go in the other room and answer the phone or walk to the corner store, go gather the eggs or vegetables. As technology has grown, so have we. it has been a long day. I have noticed a very big part of my life has changed. No little ones running around under my feet.  soon we will have little miss april to help fill that void. hope susy enjoys her actual retirement. wish we could have had a little party for her. We all seven got together to do things for mom and dad but life is so different now and I don't know if retirement will even be in our vocabulary in another twenty years.   prayers and love to all

corn relish

hey there, all my fans ha ha,  today we bought corn for the best corn relish ever made. My opinion anyway. we didn't get around to making though. we made potato salad and a few other dishes and mom decided to wait to start the relish until in the morning.Kim come by and brought some fresh eggs. yummy.   Tim came by and saw mom for a bit and had some tatorsalad and I fixed him a couple pieces of cod. she misses him and can't see why it is so long between visits. I try to explain but he's her babyboy and she has a hard time with his new life. It does not eliminate her, but he has had to scale back a bit since he does reside in cinn. and works everyday.  I have been following the trial of casey anthony and it is really heart breaking.  this is the young mom who is on trial for the murder of her 2 1/2 yr old. the girl looks quite pitiful but none-the-less seems very guilty. so they loose the baby and possibly the daughter as well.  roof guy didn't come again today. I didn't hear from the contractor on my house either. I did re-plant some seeds and weed eat. we went outside about 9PM. since it has been so humid and hot, it is too much in the daytime. we've had a busy day today and garrett, tony's boy had his graduation tonight.congrats to you baby, good job, no, great job. tony is helping me finish the house and it is almost move in ready.(liveable)thank you lord for him and his help. the wind ripping half the roof off was a blessing of sorts since now the insurance will fix it. yeah.  jason and jessie and noah came over for a while when we were outside. they are neighbors and little noah loves jacob. everybody in the neighborhood does. Jameson has an interview with UPS tues. prayers appreciated.    prayers for all. Kayes eye better today. her foot tomorrow. Lord hold her and Pete up.

better days

well we finally had a day with less humidity and mother actually got to go out and sit in the yard for a bit. we have some tomatoes on the vine that teresa bought mom. some of our plants are growing but we haven't been able to put anything in the garden cause its been so wet. the hydranges in the front are starting to bloom and we've had some beautiful roses.  I have not been motivated to do much gardening but I am trying to get my head around it and put something in.  Last year we worked awful hard in our little garden and got hardly anything out of it. everything just fried in the heat.  Since we had to have the big oak tree cut down, there is no good shade during any part of the day(til after dark)and the sun was just too hot.  with all the things going on right now, I just can't seem to get to the seeds. I have tried three times to start the plumgrannys and have been unsuccessful.
My grandaughter-n-law, Tiffani, seems to be able to carry the baby a while longer. Her name is April and she is due in August.  She is a very busy baby so far.  Graduation is June and tiffani will be graduating and then able to take a break until baby comes. They got moved into their new apartment and seem to be very content.  My son-n-law still struggles with his health.  He is stable right now. the last attack wound up being his pancreas. another diet change. Time to tuck mom in so will close this for tonight. Life is 20% what happens to us and 80%  how we respond to it. good quote

life so precious

I posted a picture of a young man who drown in corydan this week on my facebook. when I first saw it on the news, the boy standing, looking on, looked like my grandson and I feared for his little brother. I am thankful it was not his brother. I have since found out that my grandsons dad was one of the first responders, as they were in the area for other business. I can not imagine what it feels like for the parents of that boy. I know it has effected our whole family with sadness.  although he didn't make it, trying to help him was the best they could do. sometimes we forget how vulnerable we are to accidents and don't get to do it over. My prayers are with his family. I hope other teens and children realize that being cautious is so very important. Sometimes accidents happen even if you are being careful but a little extra can't hurt. Enjoy your kids.

weather etc

well it appears the monsoons are over for the time and now we have 95 temps to deal with. what happened to our nice spring and fall. we don't seem to have them much anymore here. we go from extreme cold and wet to extreme hot and dry. I love the spring and fall when you don't have to dress up or down to be comfortable in the yard or garden. I guess everything changes. Mother did some cooking this week and seemed to enjoy that. She loves to fix things for kaye. although pete is learning to cook a lot, she still wants to make sure she has something good and tasty when she is up to cooking. She'd still have the big dinners for everybody if I could keep up but alas, I have aged to the point that a peanutbutter sandwich sounds right good most of the time and have no disire to bring out the big pots and pans and do massive cook-offs. I do remember how much we loved them.  Mom would cook huge meals out of whatever we had and we'd have company and play music and sing and it was a great time. we rarely were invited out, with so many, so we had folks in a lot. When Dad became ill, it was mothers way of socializing and not needing to leave the house and although she did shop, we would go by the store or go to the farmers market or into the garden and get what she needed and kim brings fresh eggs even now. They are so much better than storebought. Have you ever really looked at fresh eggs against storebought? Big difference. If happy chickens have anything to do with it, kim and phil have the best. although those eggs joe and teresa get in the country are pretty good too. well so much for eggs. Hope all had a good memorial Day holiday. stay safe and cool

missing daddy

sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago that my Dad left this world.  Sometimes I just really miss him. Sometimes I wonder what things would be different if he'd lived longer or if he'd been healthier. I wonder if he'd  ever had his cabin. He was a jolly little guy after he got around 60. He seemed to have a lot of thoughts and couldn't get them to work out in his head before then. He knew what should be, but couldn't remember so much of his short term details.  as he aged, he seemed to mellow and so enjoyed music and his gifts we all brought him. To say he was spoiled would be an under-statement. He was our baby. He went home on May 29th, 2000. They told us he would only live a few years or less after his aneurism, but he was 75 years old.  He was only 46 when it happened.  Still miss you Daddy. One of my favorite stories was when ,Mom told him to wait for her in the car til she got the door open. they had stopped for burgers and he was eating his. she came in the front and to the garage to bring in groceries.  she went back to the front to get him and he was gone so she went to the garage thinking he came that way. he wasn't there so she came back to the front door(through the house) and still didn't see him. she thought maybe he'd gone to  a neighbors house and went out to find him. well he was laying in the bushes in front of the house where he had apparently fell. mom ask what he was doing and he answered in a, what do you think tone, "I'm eating my hamburger." we got him up out of the bushes but he didn't drop that burger. He had a heck of a bruise on his arm for a long time though. He always had a good humor and quick answers. Time to quit for now.  Have a meaningful Memorial Day to all.  good night

social event

sister susy is at it again. she went to kaye's and prepared a delectable dinner for the Howard clan. Even sweet dumplin momma came along. mother hasn't been out of the house for a while and went to teresa's for dinner Sunday and went to kayes for dinner today.  she has a hard time keeping up with all the events of her seven children. I can not imagine life with seven children looking at me for meals, clothes, medical attention, and lord knows what else. Her health will not allow her to do so much these days, but she still keeps a pretty close eye on the bunch. I have been working alot elsewhere and I know she gets lonesome and I think going out a bit helps at least break the monotiny of sitting at home. No particular crisis going on right now and I am so thankful for that. sister kaye-kaye has a struggle every day and I guess we all do to some extent. I have learned a lot in the last few years and I don't know if it is my age or just finally realizing things around me. I never could slow down. I am a nurse. I sew, crochet, sing, and various other things. Never had a desire to go away from home much and never had a lack of something to do. now  I often wonder if I'd been able to slow down and take in those books and movies and education, would my life have been so different? I really don't think so. I was absolutely born to care for people. I never have been materialistic. So if I felt there was a need, I stopped my life and took care of someone else. I have always loved nature and see so much wonder in the things that are so simple. the miricle of a child being born to any being is still a wonder. 

dinner

storms

it seems to be almost over again. I feel so sad for so many who have lost so much. I love to see the lightning and listen to the thunder. the winds are a little scarey. so are the two big pines out back. Mother never wants to go to the basement, but it seems to me, the older you get the less you worry about it. My grandpa White once said,"if it's your time, it's your time" and about that time, the front porch was hit. He probably chose his words a little more careful after that. Mother is all tucked in and resting quite well, so I guess it is safe to go to bed now. nite all. don't forget to say your prayers.

Here we go

This is my first post for my new blog my daughter helped me create so we can let everyone know how we are and our families events.

We have recently celebrated my eldest grandson's wedding on May 14, 2011.  He and his wife Tiffany will be graduating in the next week.   YEAHHHHH      AJ worked very hard to get his GED and has GOT IT.

My sister Kaye is getting ready to have cataract surgery.  Ongoing prayers appreciated for her many medical problems.  Pete and David keep a close eye.

No dumplins this week, Mom's been having difficulty with her breathing but is doing okay.  Back to cooking a little bit more and missing her dear friend Ora.

Will close for tonight.