Timothy

Well it is to be Tim's birthday and he will be here thursday to celebrate at kim's.  Mom is to make a pound cake. Hers has to be the best I ever tasted and I will have to learn to make it today. She does the telling, I do the grunt work and that is ok. I also need to go to the house and finish the bathroom floor so the kids can get a shower in. We still need to put in some drywall too, but the boys will be there to help. We learned yesterday that kaye will have surgery to remove her toe next wed. I so hate for her to have to go through this. Things seem so awful all over the world. I know I only see a very small part of the world but it is getting creepy. I did learn that my grandson has picked a church to take his new baby and family to.  I got up about 3 times last night. we have had breakin attempts 2-3 times on our street and it is happening at different times. I think our house is locked down pretty good but if they want in they usually find a way. I worry they will use the basement windows.well back to the pound cake. requires the "big" mixer and a huge bowl and lots of eggs sugar and flour. We found a sugarless cake recipe. I don't know how many carbs and other bad for you stuff is still in it but I suppose you could eat a regular piece rather than a sliver. Kaye will be starting the hyperbaric chamber again. I told pete I would take her to that. she has had a hard time going cause she is so tired and won't (sometimes) go for him. I think if she knows I'm coming it might give her a little incentative to push through and go but I hope it works.I am not tied to the house quite as much as I was, as long as I am back from anywhere by dark and I get that. at 60, it scares me to be here without the boys downstairs.when they aren't here I put a barricade up at the door. frosty would lick someone to death. He is such an easy going animal.  I am trying to get an article written with pics alongside to send to the kentucky magazine. It has a lot of stories and fun stuff to read about old times.  Mom loves it. Well it sounds like she is up, so I will get in here and get the day started. love and prayers to all.

the move

well I don't know how it will be halfway living with my daughter. I am hurt at her right now and feel deserted. she left on a "free" vacation no sooner than we got them shoved into the house. I don't know all the reasons she was kicked out of the one she had but they do have a hard time keeping things clean and nice. the boys will do whatever I ask them and I hope they do well here. it is not in anyway ready for a family of that size but I have no choice in it right now. she had like an 800$ medicine bill and so much stress. I understand the vacation to some extint but it was an awful time for her to leave and she went to ocean city NJ right where the hurricanes are spinning and flooding and I know I am paranoid but I don't like tempting fate. we got the water heater hooked up but the electricity don't work so now another hurdle. I have spoke to the bank and have so much crap going on I can't keep it in my head. I think the time will be more temporary than they all would like but I can't live in a mess and they will soon get tired of me telling them what to do. she had no money and no way to go anywhere but she could have waited a few more weeks to do this. I think she wanted to get her stuff moved before her "vacation". her landlord came there and threatened the kids while she was at work and called and texted and her rent was one day late at the time. she needed to get out. now the lady in her drunkeness will have nothing good to say about them I'm sure. I am having a hard time just getting up and breathing right now. my ear is infected and I feel so down and done.mother tries to keep me from extra work and usually winds up making it worse. like today she knew I had an appointment with the doc and my ears are giving me fits. she started in the kitchen and before she was worn out, cooked fried chicken,chicken and noodles,veg soup,greenbeans,corn on the cob,a peach upsidedown cake. there were ten pots and bowls all over the kitchen and I tried to get some of it done before I left. Jamey has a job now with home depot.the boys don't watch as close as I'd like them to and if someone is in the house she goes to cooking and it is never enough. she just keeps adding something else but ai have started letting her clean up some of the mess and then I finish it.I don't think she does any of it on purpose but it is very hard to deal with daily living in this house anymore and like the soup. all I said was mom try to keep it a little smaller we don't need 2 gallons. but the pot was full to the top and we took some to kaye. the whole night she told me at least 25 times how good she liked the soup and how kaye loved the soup and ate 2 bowls.I don't know if she forgot she already told me or if she wanted to excuse herself to me for making it or prove to me it was a good thing but it drives me nuts. I don't mind her cooking so much as she thinks, but when she cooks all day for other people and I have a mess to clean up, and she don't even eat it. she was determined to make the corn on the cob before joey left cause "she wanted it" we wound up waiting til it was done to take him home.oh well you can't change her now and I wish she were happier but I do the best I can and she is a handful sometimes. oh well time to quit whining and thank the lord for the blessings and get on with my night. yeah can't sleep.I try to think of those more opressed when I feel down. there are so many without just needs being met. we are so fortunate in so many ways. god have mercy on us and keep us in your care.

food for the day

have you ever longed for that moment of silience, when no one called your name, the phone didn't ring, the dogs are quiet and no one needs anything for that moment. I have longed for that moment for a while. I have never been able to walk away with anyone in my family or extended family needing help. My heart would not allow me to pretend I could do nothing. although it is as much a curse as a quaility, I have always been able to understand speech of those who could not speak clearly, always sewed up that unfixable clothing that someone didn't want to toss, that broken whatnot or furniture, even cars. oh well jimmy asked mom to go to dinner with her and the boys for jakes b-day. just the four of them was the request. jake actually has a girlfriend and she went along too.  so the house is so quiet. it is (for a time)so nice to hear nothing. I would in no way change caring for my mother but I do get tired of not having a life. for the last year I have been cleaning up the Oak st house and redoing almost everything in it. I have gone in two to four hour segments and it has been the most taxing test of all my senses to continue. It is about done. my daughter moved into it although it is not done yet and I hope it is not another mistake. I feel like I am sending her to hell. it is old and delapadated and she will have lots to contend with. but her payment will be less than 300.00 a month so they may be able to deal with life a little better. she needs to learn to not spend on so much junk. but we can hope. I would like to take a week off and be unresponsible for anything, but I am sure that time will come all too soon. life is just really hard right now. God help us all and all our soldiers and the little hungry children. prayers and love to all.