kids

well I have two of my grands for a few weeks. bekah and ben. they are like the dynamic duo. what one don't hit ya with, the other one will. they are so smart and beautiful. rebekah has always been the mommy type for ben.  today we shopped at the goodwill. Ben found a remote-jeep and bekah found a full nintendo game with two remotes for 15.00. I found an album of nursery songs for one dollar. it was made in 1966 and is in very good shape. We had a fun day. Hot, but fun.  Mom is out now with the smoking and I got her an electronic cigarette to try for a few days. I am very tired and am having a hard time figuring out the next step in my life. I guess the correct way to say it would be trying to find my life. the kids and I went to the storage today and I gave them some stuff from it that I'd had for them anyway. I feel very empty. Most of what I have in my storage is kid oriented. oh there's the needs of a home there too but you can tell what ran my house. my grandchildren. I don't think Amanda will ever know how much of my life she yanked away. I have since learned that it may have been the best but not in this way. I am not physically able to keep up with them so much now. I am not at all organized to care for them here like when I had a home. I have given a lot of it to AJ for his home now that he is married. I found a butterfly pin I'd been looking for and so many things I hadn't seen for so long. It was like a little treasure hunt for all of us. ben mostly stayed in the car and examined the penny's to find the ones of value. we are looking for a 1969s. it is suppose to be worth 35,000.00. I would love to find one worth 5,000. right now. We dropped off some things to AJ, towels, a shower thingy and a few things for baby. then home for a nice meal cooked by mom and jacob. well the girls look so cute in their little pillowcase dresses. Kim and I made them the other day and she'd found vintage cases with the lace and embroidering and made huge hair bows for them and they were adorable. I made one for elsie although she didn't get to go to the beach. hers is bright yellow with a blue high-heel on it to match her gorgeous blue eyes. looks like their little ben is gonna be another blue-eyed dreamboat. I am still packing and sorting. It seems that is how I've spent a good deal of my life, besides nursing anyway. if I can learn how to do the dialysis with kaye, I could probably get a better job when I go back. that will be when jacob returns from his vacation, scheduled the last two weeks of august. . he'll be here at night so I can work night shift and come home, do the breakfast, go to bed and make a decent earning. well big day tomorrow. better get some shut-eye.  Our baby april should be here soon. we thought she was coming on the 16th but they sent us home empty-handed again. we just have to wait a little longer.   love and prayers for our country and my family.