well here we are. we went to sues for aunt lois birthday dinner and suzy put it on uniquely as usual. it is still hard not to see kaye sitting at one end of the table with that little crooked smile waiting to have something yummy. pete came in, mom had ask that he not bring his woman just yet. she didn't think she could deal with it and he came alone.racheal and her family were there and some of lois friends from cinn  and kim came.kim looked tired and angry or forelorn.I know she was tired and they haven't heard from adam yet and he was on his way to afganistan. how awful it must be to send a son or daughter to war. I can not fathom how I would deal. I'd probably catch the next plane over so I could watch out for them.my laurie has done something to her back and there is a knot on the lower thorasic spin. then AJ called and his breaks went out. he asked if he could use the carport and did and got it partially fixed but it made it home and mom came out at 1200 when they'd just left to tell him he could leave it here if he needed to. him and laurie and her other two have been here when we need them every time. then jacob came home and let me know something is wrong with the upflush toliet. thankfully it is not running over but will have to be dealt with now. I worked one shift and enjoyed it but I need to work non stop to catch us up and fix everything.jacob will help but man I am so tired of all this going sideways. no we haven't lived a perfect life but who has. I long for some gentle peace in our lives, but I fear that will only come when the lord comes back. this world has grown so scarey and hard to understand. people just act like everything is the same.well lord help us all. good night.