my hermit status

I guess I just think too much but after the pain in my hand and hip has stayed for 3-4 days, I went to my little doc and have been lined up for many tests which will tell me what we already know but must be done to prove what is needed. I was also thinking about how all the allergys and weirdness has effected my life. I have kind of been made fun of because I didn't want to go all the time but when I look at my list of problems, I'm thinking it may have been my way of subconsciously protecting myself. I actually sat down and made a list of things I have had happen to me over the years. I am allergic to so many things. Medicine does not work for me like a lot of people. my stomach has always been sensitive to the point of peptic ulcers at age 9. so it has been a constant rift.  I can walk pass someone with heavy perfume on and sneeze for an hour. this happened at work and in malls and various places I have gone. I am afraid of the dark, water, heights, and am claustrophobic. I didn't even realize this until I went for an MRI and bout went nuts trying to get out of it. I was watching a show about slunking and when the guy got in a tight spot and took his hard hat off I was on the edge of the couch breathing hard and realized I needed to turn it off. I wanted him out of there. what a fun life. I don't really know if I am that sensitive or if I spend too much time thinking about what my body says to me. whatever, it has been a great irritation to me all my life. so, I stay in my little pre-fixed-non allergic,safe place to be happy.  I have always found lots to do at home with little projects and sewing and things. oh well a thought for this morning.  maybe I am not a nut. I think it is ok to be a bit nutty. I, like many, don't deal with big changes well although I have had to on many occassions change everything in my life. My choice, although it wasn't always as easy as it seemed. prayers for all today and a special one for Adam, Bianca, Brenda, all our friends fighting diseases and our country and boys fighting these horrible wars and those poor people involved in them. so sad. til later